Wednesday 31 December 2014

Undone (The Guardians #1) - New Cover!

I'm so happy with the beautiful new cover for Undone! So much more appropriate to the story, right?! Anyway, this new one was created by Mayhem Cover Creations, and I adore it! So much that Undone will be listed at only $0.99 for the whole of January.

Have an awesome New Year's Eve, you guys!


Because of Him - Playlist

Because of Him Playlist


I included the song list for Because of Him at the back of the book, but I thought I'd explain why I chose the songs I did in a little more detail. A lot of them are songs that the characters were actually listening to in the story, but some are just songs that really had the feeling.

Breathe Me by Sia
I love this song – an old favourite of mine – and I think it really fits Blair at the beginning of the story. I have lost myself again, Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found. She puts of a tough exterior, but really she's just an insecure girl who wants to be loved.

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees
The song playing as Blair is driving towards the diner – I think this is one of the few songs that actually gets a mention in the story. I just like this song, it's fun and I like the vibe

Slither by Velvet Revolver
The music playing in Blair's car as she drives away from Silver and the diner

Fix You by The Offspring
This is just another one that I like the sound of. I think the feel of it fits the beginning of the story

Tornado by Little Big Town
The song Blair plays when she and Silver are driving to the store. It has no significant meaning – I just love a li'l country

Gone Going by The Black Eyed Peas
Played in Merry Fairburn's when Blair first walked in.

E.T by Katy Perry
Great song (I'm a big, dorky Katy Perry fan). This one has a really sexy vibe. Totally the song in my head when I was writing the lusty scene in the bar before Nathan walked in – when Silver and Blair were about to dance.

The Anniversary Waltz by Dave Franklin
The tune playing in Granny Yo's music box

New Slang by The Shins
Blair plays this in her bedroom on her birthday – it's one of the songs on the iPod Silver gave her

Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars
This was the song playing in Silver's car on Blair's birthday. I love this song so much I actually included it in the story

Flaws by Bastille
You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve, And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground. I love this song, it's so Silver and Blair. I feel like Blair kind of teaches Silver that it's okay to be different and flawed. Also I just love Bastille, I'll probably use them in every playlist I ever make like some crazy fangirl

Gone by Lianne La Havas
This is the song I had playing as I wrote the scene where Blair contemplates her mom and loving Silver

She Is by The Fray
She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted, She is everything I want that I never knew I needed – This is Silver's song for sure

Aterciopelados by El Estuche
The music Blair and Ibbie are dancing to in Merry Fairburn's the night Silver walks in with his date

Things I'll Later Lose by Lily & Madeleine
Sad, sad Blair up in her room after she had to watch Silver and his date :(

Make Believe by The Burned
This is another where it's not the words so much as the feel of the music. It's the kind of song that makes you ache, and it's perfect for how Blair and Silver felt when they were apart

This Is Home by Switchfoot
The title says it all, really. I like this song for when things are finally coming together for Blair (after The Jemma Incident)

Ride With The Tide by Emilie Mover

This is the song I had on when writing the scene near the end when Blair is reading Silver's notes. I think it fits nicely  

Tuesday 30 December 2014

Review: Beauty Mark


Beauty Mark
Beauty Mark by Jan Moran

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



This is the second book in the Hostile Beauty series. I was a big fan of the first, of Verena and Lance, but even as I was reading that I was already hoping that Scarlet and Johnny would have their own story, and this definitely didn't disappoint.

If possible, Beauty Mark was even more exciting than the first, and there was some thrilling action mixed in with the fiery romance. I loved the characters – especially lovely Johnny – and was glad to see characters from the first book make an appearance.

Jan Moran has once again crafted a wonderful story with a strong female lead, not willing to give up on her dreams no matter what is thrown at her.

Five stars!



View all my reviews

Review: Not this Time


Not this Time
Not this Time by Emiliana Erriquez

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



This was a touching romantic (yet very realistic) story of a long distance love between sweet Amira and Steve. They fall in love when she visits California from Italy, only to be torn apart when she has to return home due to family problems.

I enjoyed this a lot. The romance was sweet and lovely, and I really felt for the characters over the years. The ending had me in tears – and you know a story is good when it is able to fill you with that much emotion.

I'll certainly be reading more from this author. Five stars!



View all my reviews

Monday 15 December 2014

Because of Him is now available!


Because of Him, my new YA romance is now available. I'm super excited to release something so different from my first fantasy novel. Get it here at Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/501963 and here at Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00R1PTSLY

Blair Ackerman is a girl with crazy hair and a bad attitude. She's a girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. She's a girl with only a duffel bag and a car named Nancy to her name, and that's okay by her. She's tough because she has to be. Nobody gets inside her head, nobody gets inside her heart. 

Silver is everything she's never wanted. He's a good guy, a smart guy, a guy who's never met a girl like her before. He's the kind of guy who loves history, who laughs at his own jokes, who kisses like a sinful dream. He's the kind of guy who might just break down her walls and get inside her heart and make her feel. 

Too bad he's forbidden. 

Because when Blair's mom dies and she's sent to live with the father she's never met and a family that doesn't want her, Blair and Silver cross paths in ways they never could have imagined, and they discover that even though they know they should, they can't quite bring themselves to stay apart. 

Opposites really do attract. 

Monday 1 December 2014

Happy December!

It's time for free stuff! From now until 5th December, Undone (The Guardians #1) will be free on Amazon :) Get it here http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JE1OU66

Happy December, you guys!


Thursday 6 November 2014

Because of Him - Coming Soon

My newest book is out this December, a YA romance with a bad ass chick and a sexy nerd. More details below on Because of Him


And to celebrate the release and to say Merry Christmas, Undone (The Guardians #1) will be FREE for the fist five days of December. Good times :)

Blair Ackerman is a girl with crazy hair and a bad attitude. She's a girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. She's a girl with only a duffel bag and a car named Nancy to her name, and that's okay by her. She's tough because she has to be. Nobody gets inside her head, nobody gets inside her heart.

Silver is everything she's never wanted. He's a good guy, a smart guy, a guy who's never met a girl like her before. He's the kind of guy who loves history, who laughs at his own jokes, who kisses like a sinful dream. He's the kind of guy who might just break down her walls and get inside her heart and make her feel.

Too bad he's forbidden.

Because when Blair's mom dies and she's sent to live with the father she's never met and a family that doesn't want her, Blair and Silver cross paths in ways they never could have imagined, and they discover that even though they know they should, they can't quite bring themselves to stay apart.

Opposites really do attract.


Release date - coming soon!

Sunday 26 October 2014

Review: Legacy of Fear


Legacy of Fear
Legacy of Fear by Ryshia Kennie

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



Ryshia Kennie does it again!

After reading another of her books and being a big fan, I was expecting big things from this one – and Legacy of Fear didn't disappoint.

Set in Hong Kong this time, Andra, a code breaker, and Max, a linguist, are trying to figure out a secret language and the mysteries behind it, whilst at the same time running from their lives from some of the most dangerous men in Honk Kong who would use the language to gain power.

What I especially liked about this book was the characters. Max especially, is not the average hero. He's brains over brawn, and still very sexy. The romantic tension between Max and Andra was spot on. I also liked the emotion that was in this story. I won't give away any spoilers, but there were a lot of moments when I was teary eyed.

And Hong Kong itself is like a third main character. Instead of just telling us where they are and glazing over the rest like some other stories, the author describes all of their settings brilliantly so it's easy to get a feel of where they are.

Another great read, and I'll be looking forward to reading more stories from Rhyshia Kennie.



View all my reviews

Sunday 12 October 2014

Loren Mathis Books: Review - Undone by Jessica Roe

Loren Mathis Books: Review - Undone by Jessica Roe: Book Title: Undone Author: Jessica Roe Series: The Guardians (Book 1) Rating: 5 stars Nicky is trying to be a good guy... All Gab...

Friday 15 August 2014

Book Snatch: Interview & Giveaway: Jessica Roe

Book Snatch: Interview & Giveaway: Jessica Roe:         Born and raised in England. When I'm not writing, I can usually be found trying to keep up with my very lovable but incredi...

Tuesday 5 August 2014

Review: Flawless


Flawless
Flawless by Jan Moran

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



Flawless is the story of Verena (what a beautiful name) and her struggle to keep her family skin care business afloat during an economic crisis whilst also taking care of her grandmother and younger twin sisters, and dealing with her scheming fiancé, Derrick, who is part of a plot to take down her company.

This was such a great story. I'll freely admit that I have very little knowledge of business, but Jan Moran tells the tale in a way that isn't overwhelming and even I understood what was going on. It was perfectly paced and exciting, and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen to Verena and the company.

I especially liked the characters. Verena was an utterly likeable lead – I love female characters with strong will and backbones like her – and her group of friends, Scarlett, Dahlia and Fianna were perfect additions. They each had their own uniqueness, and I hope they get their own stories too. My favourite character, of course, was Lance. It's not often that the nice guys are also ridiculously sexy, but Lance had both qualities and was lovable – I was routing for him from the moment we met him.

Great writing, excellent settings and so well described! It was a thoroughly enjoyable read, and I'll definitely be looking up more of Jan Moran's work.

Highly recommended!



View all my reviews

Sunday 3 August 2014

Review: His Wayward Duchess


His Wayward Duchess
His Wayward Duchess by Daphne du Bois

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



Mousy wallflower, Holly, is surprised but delighted to marry the Duke of Strathavon, Sylvester, but soon becomes downhearted when she realizes he married her for her practicality and not for love. Sylvester had vowed never to love anyone, because love only leads to loss, but he hadn't counted on his new wife and her ability to get under his skin.

I loved this story, what a sweet and utterly charming read! I was totally swept away. The characters were brilliant – Holly was fiery and mischievous and strong and a great lead, and the way Sylvester tried to reign in his feelings for her was lovely and sad (and funny at times). And the side characters were a great addition – especially Holly's friend, Lady Louisa, who added some great humour.

Everything was described so wonderfully that it was easy to imagine the scenery and the events – the author definitely knows her stuff! It was all very authentic.

I was already a regency romance fan, but this has definitely been one of my favourites, and I'll be looking up more books by Daphne du Bois right away.

Highly recommended for anyone looking for something lighthearted and romantic. A great read!



View all my reviews

Friday 27 June 2014

Review: The Insect Hotel


The Insect Hotel
The Insect Hotel by David Stringer

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



A short little book about a man and his charming son, The Insect Hotel is a story that a child of any age (or gender) will enjoy. And not only that, as a parent reading it to my own child, I found it to be enjoyable and humorous too – especially as Harry's dad tries desperately to come up with ideas to get Harry to sleep at night, which is something all parents can relate to.

The story is split up into five chapters, and we get an individual story about each bug in each chapter. Not only is this story ideal for children who like bugs, but it would also be great as an aid to encourage kids who are a little afraid of bugs too, as the characters are all very amusing.

Not only is there great stories, but also wonderful illustrations too – especially the title page, which was just magical.

What I especially liked was at the end, David Stringer gives us advice on how to construct our own Insect Hotel. My own daughter is definitely looking forward to giving it a go with her Grandad at the weekend. What a great way to get the kids outdoors!

I would highly recommend this to all parents and children, and I'll be keeping my eye out for more of David's work.



View all my reviews

Review: The Rocker That Holds Her


The Rocker That Holds Her
The Rocker That Holds Her by Terri Anne Browning

My rating: 5 of 5 stars







View all my reviews

Tuesday 3 June 2014

A long, rambly and not at all explanationy explanation on how I first came up with the idea for The Guardians

So, how did I come up with the original idea for The Guardians? I wish I could say it was something profound, or even something interesting like it came to me in a dream. But the boring answer is that it came to me while I was watching the TV. I don't remember what it was, but it was definitely something actiony. Something like James Bond or Mission Impossible. It was one of the scenes where the good guy is fighting all these nameless bad guy minions, just the ones who pop up on screen for a second to point their gun at James Bond only to get shot and forgotten about seconds later.

As usual, my over active imagination went to work, and I began to think about these minions who were getting killed off. Because I mean, it wasn't like they were born minions. They must have had a mother and father. Maybe they even had a family of their own? Wives, kids? Someone to mourn them? So my mind wandered off and I started to think about what it would be like to be told a story from a minion's point of view.

And that's basically how Gable came about, except obviously she didn't end up being just a regular old minion. She evolved as the story planning went on and turned into the sassy, bitchy girl she is today.

As for Nicky, I wanted an insight into the good guys and how they worked, which is why I needed a character like him to introduce us to their world and the world of the Outcasts. I always knew he was going to be a bad guy on the road to redemption and that he and Gable would have once been high school sweethearts, though I did originally plan on their reunion being a lot more romantic. That was before the character of Sacha was created. Sacha was originally supposed to be older, more of a father/uncle figure to Gable, but obviously THAT didn't happen. As I created his character, it became obvious to me that he was clearly in love with Gable, and that she was dealing with feelings of her own and suddenly I wasn't so sure about which direction to take her in – Nicky or Sacha. Honestly, I'm STILL not sure which direction I want to go with that. I guess we'll see how it goes as the story progresses.

The rest of the characters just kind of fell into place, almost like the story was choosing them and not me – which is something I'm sure many writers out there understand. I wanted my good guys to be flawed and maybe kind of annoying, and I wanted my bad guys to have human sides, the ability to love just like anyone else. Some of my characters, Cadby for instance, ended up having much larger roles in the story than I first anticipated. I originally only intended for Cadby to be in one small scene at the beginning, just someone there to show Nicky some of the different aspects of the Outcasts, but I ended up liking him too much and he came back. I might even give him his own short story one day.


So there's my explanation. It's a lot more rambly and a lot less explanationy that I meant it to be, and it probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But there it is :)

Friday 30 May 2014

Review: American Angst


American Angst
American Angst by Laurel Osterkamp

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



American Angst is a witty tale of love, life, and the struggles we go through as women as we try to find our way in the world.

The story follows two women, Lucy and Robin, both extremely likeable characters and very easy to relate to. Lucy is dealing with motherhood and marriage, and Robin is dealing with a string of bad breakups and her career – all issues that the majority of us have faced.

Though the story is told in a light and fun and sassy way, the heavier issues come across as heartfelt and you really feel for the characters and what they are going through. What I especially liked about this book is how real it is, how relevant.

Though a reasonably short novel, you definitely get your money's worth. Quality over quantity. I'll certainly be going out to look up more of Laurel Osterkamp's work.

Highly recommended!



View all my reviews

Wednesday 28 May 2014

The Prenitian Chronicles by Jessica O'Toole - My Review

So I've just finished reading the first in The Prenitian Chronicals by Jessica O'Toole, and man, am I gutted that the sequel isn't out already!

Jessica and I exchanged free copies of our books so that we could read and review, and I definitely feel like I got the better end of the deal here because her book was seriously awesome on an epic scale! I've actually just gone and bought the book just so that I'd have an official copy. And not only was her story amaze, she was also incredibly nice.

Anyway, before I babble on (more than I usually do), here's the review I left on Amazon and Goodreads.

(By the way, something I forgot to mention in the reviews is how much I love the cover! Simple but eye catching at the same time, and so perfect for the story.)



First of all, I have to say that it's been a while since I read an epic fantasy, so I thought it might take me a while to get into the story...boy, was I wrong. I was hooked within the first few pages.

There are some novels out there that you can gobble right up, but you usually end up forgetting shortly after. The Prenitian Chronicles isn't one of them. This is one of those stories where you take your time, where you read every word and sentence thoroughly and carefully because the plot is so intricate and consuming that you want to savour every last bit of it. It's the kind of story that stays with you long after you've finished reading it.

What I loved about this novel is that it's a story within a story. We start with Telena, a curious girl, desperate to read a set of old, forbidden history books in the library – The Prenitian Chronicles. Her brother, Aznee, the librarian, finally lets her, and the story begins – though Telena and Aznee are not to be forgotten, as they have their own mystery surrounding them that has left me itching for more.

From there we are introduced to more characters, mainly Leyna, Adri, Cora and Murray, and we follow them on their separate journeys as they fight for their lives and their people. I especially enjoyed the character of Leyna and the way she grew into herself as the story progressed.

Unlike a lot of first books in a series, Jessica O'Toole doesn't bog us down with an overload of information. She gives us enough so that we can picture the world perfectly inside our heads, but not so much that it's overwhelming.

The story was exciting, full of action and magic and pure awesomeness. I spent the the majority of it on the edge of my seat or in tears and I'll be eagerly awaiting the next in the series as I can't wait to find out what happens next, both to Telena and Aznee, and in The Prenitian Chronicles.


Total 5 stars!

Friday 2 May 2014

Undone (The Guardians #1) Playlist

So these songs are some of what I listened to while writing Undone. Some of them mean something to me and the story lyrically, and some I just like the sound and feel of.

Meant To Live by Switchfoot
This song describes perfectly how Nicky is feeling at the beginning of the book before he meets the Guardians

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by The Offspring
Though the lyrics don't really mean anything to the story, I just love this song and how wild it is. This is the song I played while writing fight scenes

Bones by Ms Mr
When Gable and Nicky first see each other again during the parking lot fight, and again later when they kiss. I read somewhere that the writer of the song said that when she wrote it, she was in turmoil about the changes in her life and things didn't feel right and she felt overwhelmed (don't quote me :D) which I think fits perfectly for Nicky and Gable during pretty much every encounter they have

Fresh Pair of Eyes by Brooke Waggoner
I Love (yes, with a capital L) this song so much. It's how I think Gable and Sacha felt about each other at the beginning of their friendship

Never Be the Same by Red
It perfectly describes Nicky's conflicted feelings towards Gable

Angel by Sarah McLachlan
This song is so sad and I imagine the lyrics are kind of how Gable is feeling in the aftermath of Pablo's death.

Twenty Seven by Ms Mr
(You'll notice I use a couple of songs from Ms Mr. I'm a big fan.) This is the song that plays in my head during the epilogue



Recommended Reads

Recommended Reads

This isn't a list of books (or ebooks) that I love, because if I listed ALL the books that I love then the list would go on FOREVER. Is there a stronger word than love? That's what I'd use to describe these books. These are the ones that I've adored so much that I've read over and over, or ones that have touched me deeply, or ones that I haven't been able to forget about, even years later. You should definitely check them out! :)

Fantasy/Sci Fi

Premonition series by Amy A. Bartol (one of my favourite fantasy series of all time)
Darkwoods Trilogy by J. A. Redmerski
Lux series by Jennifer L. Armentrout (probably my top favourite)
Hollow trilogy by Jessica Verday (heartbreaking and haunting and amazing, all at once)
Cassie Palmer series by Karen Chance
Fallen series by Lauren Kate (the 3rd book out of the 4 was the one I found especially beautiful)
Madly series by M. Leighton
Morganville Vampires series by Rachel Caine
Every one of Shelly Crane's books (they're seriously awesome) but especially the Collide series
Wanderlove by Belle Malory (I'm not sure whether this one actually fits in the fantasy category, but what the heck)
Demon Trappers series by Jana Oliver
Pretty much everything written by Erica Stevens (who also writes under the name Brenda K. Davies) but especially the Captive series

Young/New Adult

Everything ever written by Fisher Amelie, but especially Vain. So beautiful and touching
A Different Blue by Amy Harmon
My Favourite Mistake by Chelsea M. Cameron
Slammed series and Hopeless series by Colleen Hoover
Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire
Anna and the French Kiss series by Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French Kiss is probably my favourite book of all time. So sweet and charming and one I always read when I need to be happy :D)
Rocked Under by Cora Hawkes
Bet in the Dark by Rachel Higginson
Foolish Games Series by Leah Spiegel

Young Teens

How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff (one of those books so amazing that you'll never forget it)

Friday 11 April 2014

Deleted Chapter from Undone

This short chapter was somewhere just after the middle of my story, and was basically just a recap of Nicky's life after Gable left and up until he met Walker. However, whilst editing, I decided it really didn't add anything to the story and wasn't at all needed, and it kind of repeated a bunch of stuff that had already been said so I cut it out. But here it is for those of you who are interested in learning a little more about Nicky :)

Nicky 


For months after Gabrielle disappeared, she was all anyone could talk about. Everywhere Nicky went, her name was brought up in hushed tones, like they were talking about somebody who was already dead. News that she had run away from her uncle's house had spread like wildfire, and they all had their own theories – drugs, gangs, pregnancy. Nicky just wished they'd all shut the hell up.
School was the worst. His classmates would stare at him as he stomped through the halls, looking thunderous and angry and downright miserable. They all seemed to want answers from him, as if he had any more of a clue than they did. Where was she? Why did she run away? Was it true that she'd died her hair blue and ran off with a lion tamer from the circus? He'd only been outed as her boyfriend for one damned day, but they all seemed to think that was enough for him to be an expert on the subject of all things Gabrielle. And when he yelled that he didn't fucking know where she was, they'd glare at him like he'd kidnapped her and dumped her body in the river.
It all came to an end when Nicky overheard an idiot jock casually joke about what a loss Gabrielle's fine cheerleading ass was on the field. After Nicky punched him clear across the room and dislodged a couple of his teeth, no one dared mention her name in his presence again.
Without Gabrielle's kisses to make his days go by faster, school became an unbearable form of torture for Nicky, and he couldn't wait to scram. He graduated with surprisingly good grades considering how little he'd studied, thanks to this natural smarts. But instead of going to collage like his parents had hoped, he packed a bag and he and his drumsticks moved to New York City so that he could pursue his dream of drumming in a band.
For him, NYC was the obvious choice to chase music, and only the smallest part of it had to do with how he hoped he might find Gabrielle there; she'd always talked about how much she wanted to live there, ever since they were children.
The change in culture was a huge shock to Nicky, who had never really travelled anywhere before, and to his horror, he soon discovered that the shadows he'd thought he'd imagined as a child had returned. The more time he spent in the city, the greater in numbers they became. He worked hard at pretending they weren't there, unwilling to go through therapy again. This time, he wouldn't make the mistake of telling anyone he could see them.
He was incredibly frustrated when he didn't immediately find a band to play with – he'd kind of just assumed that as soon as he got to New York, all of his dreams would automatically fall into his lap. But the talent was a lot higher than he'd expected, and the competition was fierce. Soon, he had to get himself a bar job to help pay his rent, even with the money his parents sent him on a regular basis. Life in the city was more expensive than he'd thought it would be.
Nicky had been working at Jackson's Bar for about a year before he met Ebo, Chim and Hadley. They made up three quarters of a small time rock band. So small in fact, that Nicky had never even heard of Puddle of Cat before. Puddle of Cat were using Jackson's to hold auditions for a drummer after their fourth member had quit for collage. Nicky auditioned, and he was in.
He once asked Chim why they were called Puddle of Cat, and his band mate had given some nonsensical answer about the time he'd seen a dead black cat on the side of the road and mistaken it for a puddle. Nicky never did find out if he'd been lying or not.
They practised day and night for months, and they were pretty decent. Decent enough to land gigs in clubs and bars all over the city. Nicky was finally living the life he'd wanted, his time filled with parties and women and great fucking music.
It was around that time Nicky first started experimenting with drugs. Chim and Ebo encouraged him; told him that his music would be better, that he'd have more fun, that he'd see life in a whole new dimension. But honestly, he didn't need much encouragement. He wanted to be a rock star, and rock stars were wild, right? And then, to his absolute delight, he realized that when he was riding high, he couldn't see or feel the shadows at all, and he didn't even have to try to block them out. Life was awesome again, until he inevitably came down and it was harder than ever to pretend the shadows weren't there.
Puddle of Cat developed a name for themselves around the city. People began requesting them, girls threw underwear at them on stage, threw themselves at them back stage. Everyone wanted autographs. They had freakin' groupies. Every fucker wanted a piece of them.
For Nicky, Chim and Ebo, it became less about the music, and more about the sex and drugs. Their performances got sloppy, and rehearsals were rare. Hadley tried his best to get them to buck up their ideas. He was serious about only his music, and begged them to clean up their acts so they could get back on track. He was the one thin piece of string holding them together, and so when he eventually gave up on them and left to pursue his musical career elsewhere, the band fell apart.
Puddle of Cat was no more.
Not that Nicky, Chim or Ebo even cared. Or noticed.
Nicky's life was consumed by drugs and women. Three years passed by in a haze of expensive highs and violent lows. On the rare occasion that he didn't take anything, the shadows would bombard him and literally drive him crazy. He'd scream and pull his hair out and smash furniture until he could get his next fix. The people in his life were in no better condition than him, and they didn't think anything of it when he yelled at invisible shadows to leave him the hell alone.
His parents constantly begged for him to get help. They offered to pay for treatment, promised to be there for him every step of the way. But Nicky didn't want help, and he cut them out of his life completely when they kept pushing at him.
He was surrounded by messed up people just like him, and he had never felt lonelier in his whole life.
Without the band or his parents, Nicky was soon out of cash. He went back to Jackson's Bar for a time, but he'd become kind of a mean little bastard and he caused too many fights, and Jackson ended up firing him out of sheer necessity. Being barred from a seedy, run down criminal hang out like Jackson's was a whole new low. He did the only thing that, in his fucked up mind, he could. He started selling drugs.
Obviously he was arrested. He was too dumb and careless to be smart about what he was doing. He was sentenced to seven years in prison, and it wasn't until he heard his mother's anguished sobs that he realized how badly he'd screwed everything up. His life, his career, his relationship with his family.
He hated himself; he wished he was dead. Everything would be better if he was dead. He'd stop disappointing his parents, stop hurting them. God, he wanted to die.
And then he was given a second chance at life. He was put into some government programme, told he had a year to become a new person. He took the chance with everything he had in him, even if he didn't understand why it was happening.
His parents visited him as often as they could, and he was incredibly humbled by them. After everything he'd put them through, after every agonizing thing he'd said to them, they still took his hands in theirs and told him they loved him more than anything. They vowed to stand by him and support him as he turned his life around, and they were excited to see the kind of man he would become.
Hadley was a surprise. Nicky had never expected to hear from his old band mate again, let alone receive regular visits from him. He was thankful to know that he had salvaged one truly great friend from the wreckage of his past. Hadley was doing well for himself as a solo artist, and had even appeared on small time television once or twice. He'd worked his ass off and he deserved every bit of success that he got. Nicky was genuinely happy for him, and was left in awe when Hadley promised his support also.
Of course, Chim and Ebo never visited, and Nicky was glad as hell. They were stark reminders of the life he wanted to leave behind, and not the kind of people he needed around him when he was working to get better.
He was given the option of quitting drugs cold turkey, weaning himself off them slowly with medical help. He knew that neither option would be easy, so he went turkey, which almost killed him. The shadows returned with a vengeance, and he had to concentrate twenty four hours a day to ignore them – he was constantly watched by guards and he didn't want to make them suspicious. It was hard, exhausting, and made getting better that much more difficult, but he didn't want to risk one of the doctors catching on to his little secret and having him committed to some no good mental facility. He'd never taste freedom again.
At the end of his year, Nicky was assessed and deemed fit for release. He was driven to the centre of New York City and handed a wad of cash for somewhere to sleep. He asked questions, but the tight lipped driver wouldn't answer him. Instead, he was given a half assed cryptic warning about not leaving the city, and then he was on his own. Confusion wasn't even the word.
However, he took the warning to heart, so instead of moving back to LA with his folks like he'd planned, he crashed on Hadley's sofa while he figured out the next steps to his ultimate goal – making his parents proud.

Two weeks later, he noticed Stalker Babe for the very first time.

Monday 7 April 2014

Excerpt of Undone

A short excerpt from Chapter 10 of Undone

 Zebb's head shot back and cracked into Nicky's chin. Nicky stumbled and Zebb threw himself forward, knocking the both of them to the ground. Zebb gripped Nicky by the hair and smashed his head into the cement, once, twice. His vision went dark for a moment and pain sliced through his cheek. The tangy, bitter taste of blood exploded in his mouth, and then Zebb's hands were on his throat, choking him, depriving him of oxygen.
He clawed at Zebb's hands but they were unrelenting, getting impossibly tighter, and for maybe the first time in his life, Nicky really wished there was a shadow nearby to help him. His vision blurred, and the world around him began to grow dark.
And then a body smashed into Zebb, knocking him away from Nicky. He took in great gasps of air, spluttering when the pain in his throat peaked.
When his vision had finally cleared and he was able to breathe normally – albeit painfully – again, he sat himself up. Charles had rendered one of his opponents unconscious, and tossed the other into Zebb – saving Nicky's life in the process. The two men had become a tangle of limbs, and were yelling at each other as they tried to stand. Charles pulled out his gun and pointed it at them. “Don't move,” he ordered. They stopped struggling immediately. Nicky didn't blame them; even without the gun, Charles had a lethal vibe going on.
Walker and Zay's own battles seemed to have simmered down into nothing. Zay limped over, cradling his arm, and Nicky spotted the man he'd been fighting handcuffed to a car door nearby. Walker was dragging a seriously pissed off Uang along with her in a headlock as she too joined them.
“Guess we won this round,” Zay said with a grin, helping Nicky up with his undamaged arm.
“Guess again, blondie.”
Nobody saw her coming, and none of them had any time to react. A woman stepped forward from the shadows and in one fluid movement, she had kicked the gun from Charles' hand and elbowed Walker in the face, allowing Uang to scramble away. Before anyone else had time to reach for their own weapons, a dozen more of Pablo's men approached, and they had the Guardians restrained in less than a minute.
Two men gripped Nicky's arms and no matter how hard he tried to shake them off, they wouldn't budge. And then he stopped even trying, because the woman had brushed back the hair from her face and everything inside him went hot and cold, all at once.
“Gabrielle?” he breathed.