I'm so happy with the beautiful new cover for Undone! So much more appropriate to the story, right?! Anyway, this new one was created by Mayhem Cover Creations, and I adore it! So much that Undone will be listed at only $0.99 for the whole of January.
Have an awesome New Year's Eve, you guys!
Wednesday, 31 December 2014
Because of Him - Playlist
Because of Him Playlist
I included the song
list for Because of Him at the back of the book, but I thought I'd
explain why I chose the songs I did in a little more detail. A lot of
them are songs that the characters were actually listening to in the
story, but some are just songs that really had the feeling.
Breathe Me by
Sia
I love this song – an
old favourite of mine – and I think it really fits Blair at the
beginning of the story. I have lost myself again, Lost myself and
I am nowhere to be found. She
puts of a tough exterior, but really she's just an insecure girl who
wants to be loved.
Everybody Talks
by Neon Trees
The
song playing as Blair is driving towards the diner – I think this
is one of the few songs that actually gets a mention in the story. I
just like this song, it's fun and I like the vibe
Slither by
Velvet Revolver
The music playing in
Blair's car as she drives away from Silver and the diner
Fix You by The
Offspring
This is just another
one that I like the sound of. I think the feel of it fits the
beginning of the story
Tornado by
Little Big Town
The song Blair plays
when she and Silver are driving to the store. It has no significant
meaning – I just love a li'l country
Gone Going by
The Black Eyed Peas
Played in Merry
Fairburn's when Blair first walked in.
E.T by Katy
Perry
Great song (I'm a big,
dorky Katy Perry fan). This one has a really sexy vibe. Totally the
song in my head when I was writing the lusty scene in the bar before
Nathan walked in – when Silver and Blair were about to dance.
The Anniversary
Waltz by Dave Franklin
The tune playing in
Granny Yo's music box
New Slang by The
Shins
Blair plays this in her
bedroom on her birthday – it's one of the songs on the iPod Silver
gave her
Poison & Wine
by The Civil Wars
This
was the song playing in Silver's car on Blair's birthday. I love this
song so much I actually included it in the story
Flaws by
Bastille
You have always worn
your flaws upon your sleeve, And I have always buried them deep
beneath the ground. I love this
song, it's so Silver and Blair. I feel like Blair kind of teaches
Silver that it's okay to be different and flawed. Also I just love
Bastille, I'll probably use them in every playlist I ever make like
some crazy fangirl
Gone by Lianne
La Havas
This is the song I had
playing as I wrote the scene where Blair contemplates her mom and
loving Silver
She Is by The
Fray
She is everything I
need that I never knew I wanted, She is everything I want that I
never knew I needed – This is
Silver's song for sure
Aterciopelados
by El Estuche
The music Blair and
Ibbie are dancing to in Merry Fairburn's the night Silver walks in
with his date
Things I'll Later
Lose by Lily & Madeleine
Sad,
sad Blair up in her room after she had to watch Silver and his date
:(
Make Believe by
The Burned
This
is another where it's not the words so much as the feel of the music.
It's the kind of song that makes you ache, and it's perfect for how
Blair and Silver felt when they were apart
This Is Home by
Switchfoot
The
title says it all, really. I like this song for when things are
finally coming together for Blair (after The Jemma Incident)
Ride With The Tide
by Emilie Mover
This is the song I had
on when writing the scene near the end when Blair is reading Silver's
notes. I think it fits nicely
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
Review: Beauty Mark
Beauty Mark by Jan Moran
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is the second book in the Hostile Beauty series. I was a big fan of the first, of Verena and Lance, but even as I was reading that I was already hoping that Scarlet and Johnny would have their own story, and this definitely didn't disappoint.
If possible, Beauty Mark was even more exciting than the first, and there was some thrilling action mixed in with the fiery romance. I loved the characters – especially lovely Johnny – and was glad to see characters from the first book make an appearance.
Jan Moran has once again crafted a wonderful story with a strong female lead, not willing to give up on her dreams no matter what is thrown at her.
Five stars!
View all my reviews
Review: Not this Time
Not this Time by Emiliana Erriquez
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This was a touching romantic (yet very realistic) story of a long distance love between sweet Amira and Steve. They fall in love when she visits California from Italy, only to be torn apart when she has to return home due to family problems.
I enjoyed this a lot. The romance was sweet and lovely, and I really felt for the characters over the years. The ending had me in tears – and you know a story is good when it is able to fill you with that much emotion.
I'll certainly be reading more from this author. Five stars!
View all my reviews
Monday, 15 December 2014
Because of Him is now available!
Because of Him, my new YA romance is now available. I'm super excited to release something so different from my first fantasy novel. Get it here at Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/501963 and here at Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00R1PTSLY
Blair Ackerman is a girl with crazy hair and a bad attitude. She's a girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. She's a girl with only a duffel bag and a car named Nancy to her name, and that's okay by her. She's tough because she has to be. Nobody gets inside her head, nobody gets inside her heart.
Silver is everything she's never wanted. He's a good guy, a smart guy, a guy who's never met a girl like her before. He's the kind of guy who loves history, who laughs at his own jokes, who kisses like a sinful dream. He's the kind of guy who might just break down her walls and get inside her heart and make her feel.
Too bad he's forbidden.
Because when Blair's mom dies and she's sent to live with the father she's never met and a family that doesn't want her, Blair and Silver cross paths in ways they never could have imagined, and they discover that even though they know they should, they can't quite bring themselves to stay apart.
Opposites really do attract.
Monday, 1 December 2014
Happy December!
It's time for free stuff! From now until 5th December, Undone (The Guardians #1) will be free on Amazon :) Get it here http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JE1OU66
Happy December, you guys!
Thursday, 6 November 2014
Because of Him - Coming Soon
My newest book is out
this December, a YA romance with a bad ass chick and a sexy nerd.
More details below on Because of Him
And to celebrate the
release and to say Merry Christmas, Undone (The Guardians #1) will be
FREE for the fist five days of December. Good times :)
Blair Ackerman is a
girl with crazy hair and a bad attitude. She's a girl who doesn't
care what anyone thinks of her. She's a girl with only a duffel bag
and a car named Nancy to her name, and that's okay by her. She's
tough because she has to be. Nobody gets inside her head, nobody gets
inside her heart.
Silver is everything
she's never wanted. He's a good guy, a smart guy, a guy who's never
met a girl like her before. He's the kind of guy who loves history,
who laughs at his own jokes, who kisses like a sinful dream. He's the
kind of guy who might just break down her walls and get inside her
heart and make her feel.
Too bad he's forbidden.
Because when Blair's
mom dies and she's sent to live with the father she's never met and a
family that doesn't want her, Blair and Silver cross paths in ways
they never could have imagined, and they discover that even though
they know they should, they can't quite bring themselves to stay
apart.
Opposites really do
attract.
Release date - coming soon!
Sunday, 26 October 2014
Review: Legacy of Fear
Legacy of Fear by Ryshia Kennie
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Ryshia Kennie does it again!
After reading another of her books and being a big fan, I was expecting big things from this one – and Legacy of Fear didn't disappoint.
Set in Hong Kong this time, Andra, a code breaker, and Max, a linguist, are trying to figure out a secret language and the mysteries behind it, whilst at the same time running from their lives from some of the most dangerous men in Honk Kong who would use the language to gain power.
What I especially liked about this book was the characters. Max especially, is not the average hero. He's brains over brawn, and still very sexy. The romantic tension between Max and Andra was spot on. I also liked the emotion that was in this story. I won't give away any spoilers, but there were a lot of moments when I was teary eyed.
And Hong Kong itself is like a third main character. Instead of just telling us where they are and glazing over the rest like some other stories, the author describes all of their settings brilliantly so it's easy to get a feel of where they are.
Another great read, and I'll be looking forward to reading more stories from Rhyshia Kennie.
View all my reviews
Sunday, 12 October 2014
Loren Mathis Books: Review - Undone by Jessica Roe
Loren Mathis Books: Review - Undone by Jessica Roe: Book Title: Undone Author: Jessica Roe Series: The Guardians (Book 1) Rating: 5 stars Nicky is trying to be a good guy... All Gab...
Friday, 15 August 2014
Book Snatch: Interview & Giveaway: Jessica Roe
Book Snatch: Interview & Giveaway: Jessica Roe: Born and raised in England. When I'm not writing, I can usually be found trying to keep up with my very lovable but incredi...
Tuesday, 5 August 2014
Review: Flawless
Flawless by Jan Moran
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Flawless is the story of Verena (what a beautiful name) and her struggle to keep her family skin care business afloat during an economic crisis whilst also taking care of her grandmother and younger twin sisters, and dealing with her scheming fiancé, Derrick, who is part of a plot to take down her company.
This was such a great story. I'll freely admit that I have very little knowledge of business, but Jan Moran tells the tale in a way that isn't overwhelming and even I understood what was going on. It was perfectly paced and exciting, and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen to Verena and the company.
I especially liked the characters. Verena was an utterly likeable lead – I love female characters with strong will and backbones like her – and her group of friends, Scarlett, Dahlia and Fianna were perfect additions. They each had their own uniqueness, and I hope they get their own stories too. My favourite character, of course, was Lance. It's not often that the nice guys are also ridiculously sexy, but Lance had both qualities and was lovable – I was routing for him from the moment we met him.
Great writing, excellent settings and so well described! It was a thoroughly enjoyable read, and I'll definitely be looking up more of Jan Moran's work.
Highly recommended!
View all my reviews
Sunday, 3 August 2014
Review: His Wayward Duchess
His Wayward Duchess by Daphne du Bois
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mousy wallflower, Holly, is surprised but delighted to marry the Duke of Strathavon, Sylvester, but soon becomes downhearted when she realizes he married her for her practicality and not for love. Sylvester had vowed never to love anyone, because love only leads to loss, but he hadn't counted on his new wife and her ability to get under his skin.
I loved this story, what a sweet and utterly charming read! I was totally swept away. The characters were brilliant – Holly was fiery and mischievous and strong and a great lead, and the way Sylvester tried to reign in his feelings for her was lovely and sad (and funny at times). And the side characters were a great addition – especially Holly's friend, Lady Louisa, who added some great humour.
Everything was described so wonderfully that it was easy to imagine the scenery and the events – the author definitely knows her stuff! It was all very authentic.
I was already a regency romance fan, but this has definitely been one of my favourites, and I'll be looking up more books by Daphne du Bois right away.
Highly recommended for anyone looking for something lighthearted and romantic. A great read!
View all my reviews
Sunday, 29 June 2014
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Friday, 27 June 2014
Review: The Insect Hotel
The Insect Hotel by David Stringer
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
A short little book about a man and his charming son, The Insect Hotel is a story that a child of any age (or gender) will enjoy. And not only that, as a parent reading it to my own child, I found it to be enjoyable and humorous too – especially as Harry's dad tries desperately to come up with ideas to get Harry to sleep at night, which is something all parents can relate to.
The story is split up into five chapters, and we get an individual story about each bug in each chapter. Not only is this story ideal for children who like bugs, but it would also be great as an aid to encourage kids who are a little afraid of bugs too, as the characters are all very amusing.
Not only is there great stories, but also wonderful illustrations too – especially the title page, which was just magical.
What I especially liked was at the end, David Stringer gives us advice on how to construct our own Insect Hotel. My own daughter is definitely looking forward to giving it a go with her Grandad at the weekend. What a great way to get the kids outdoors!
I would highly recommend this to all parents and children, and I'll be keeping my eye out for more of David's work.
View all my reviews
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
A long, rambly and not at all explanationy explanation on how I first came up with the idea for The Guardians
So, how did
I come up with the original idea for The Guardians? I wish I could
say it was something profound, or even something interesting like it
came to me in a dream. But the boring answer is that it came to me
while I was watching the TV. I don't remember what it was, but it was
definitely something actiony. Something like James Bond or Mission
Impossible. It was one of the scenes where the good guy is fighting
all these nameless bad guy minions, just the ones who pop up on
screen for a second to point their gun at James Bond only to get shot
and forgotten about seconds later.
As usual, my
over active imagination went to work, and I began to think about
these minions who were getting killed off. Because I mean, it wasn't
like they were born minions.
They must have had a mother and father. Maybe they even had a family
of their own? Wives, kids? Someone to mourn them? So my mind wandered
off and I started to think about what it would be like to be told a
story from a minion's point of view.
And
that's basically how Gable came about, except obviously she didn't
end up being just a regular old minion. She evolved as the story
planning went on and turned into the sassy, bitchy girl she is today.
As
for Nicky, I wanted an insight into the good guys and how they
worked, which is why I needed a character like him to introduce us to
their world and the world of the Outcasts. I always knew he was going
to be a bad guy on the road to redemption and that he and Gable would
have once been high school sweethearts, though I did originally plan
on their reunion being a lot more romantic. That was before the
character of Sacha was created. Sacha was originally supposed to be
older, more of a father/uncle figure to Gable, but obviously THAT
didn't happen. As I created his character, it became obvious to me
that he was clearly in love with Gable, and that she was dealing with
feelings of her own and suddenly I wasn't so sure about which
direction to take her in – Nicky or Sacha. Honestly, I'm STILL not
sure which direction I want to go with that. I guess we'll see how it
goes as the story progresses.
The
rest of the characters just kind of fell into place, almost like the
story was choosing them and not me – which is something I'm sure
many writers out there understand. I wanted my good guys to be flawed
and maybe kind of annoying, and I wanted my bad guys to have human
sides, the ability to love just like anyone else. Some of my
characters, Cadby for instance, ended up having much larger roles in
the story than I first anticipated. I originally only intended for
Cadby to be in one small scene at the beginning, just someone there
to show Nicky some of the different aspects of the Outcasts, but I
ended up liking him too much and he came back. I might even give him
his own short story one day.
So
there's my explanation. It's a lot more rambly and a lot less
explanationy that I meant it to be, and it probably doesn't make a
whole lot of sense. But there it is :)
Friday, 30 May 2014
Review: American Angst
American Angst by Laurel Osterkamp
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
American Angst is a witty tale of love, life, and the struggles we go through as women as we try to find our way in the world.
The story follows two women, Lucy and Robin, both extremely likeable characters and very easy to relate to. Lucy is dealing with motherhood and marriage, and Robin is dealing with a string of bad breakups and her career – all issues that the majority of us have faced.
Though the story is told in a light and fun and sassy way, the heavier issues come across as heartfelt and you really feel for the characters and what they are going through. What I especially liked about this book is how real it is, how relevant.
Though a reasonably short novel, you definitely get your money's worth. Quality over quantity. I'll certainly be going out to look up more of Laurel Osterkamp's work.
Highly recommended!
View all my reviews
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
The Prenitian Chronicles by Jessica O'Toole - My Review
So I've just finished reading the first in The Prenitian Chronicals by Jessica O'Toole, and man, am I gutted that the sequel isn't out already!
Jessica and I exchanged free copies of our books so that we could read and review, and I definitely feel like I got the better end of the deal here because her book was seriously awesome on an epic scale! I've actually just gone and bought the book just so that I'd have an official copy. And not only was her story amaze, she was also incredibly nice.
Anyway, before I babble on (more than I usually do), here's the review I left on Amazon and Goodreads.
(By the way, something I forgot to mention in the reviews is how much I love the cover! Simple but eye catching at the same time, and so perfect for the story.)
Jessica and I exchanged free copies of our books so that we could read and review, and I definitely feel like I got the better end of the deal here because her book was seriously awesome on an epic scale! I've actually just gone and bought the book just so that I'd have an official copy. And not only was her story amaze, she was also incredibly nice.
Anyway, before I babble on (more than I usually do), here's the review I left on Amazon and Goodreads.
(By the way, something I forgot to mention in the reviews is how much I love the cover! Simple but eye catching at the same time, and so perfect for the story.)
First of all, I have to
say that it's been a while since I read an epic fantasy, so I thought
it might take me a while to get into the story...boy, was I wrong. I
was hooked within the first few pages.
There are some novels
out there that you can gobble right up, but you usually end up
forgetting shortly after. The Prenitian Chronicles isn't one of them.
This is one of those stories where you take your time, where you read
every word and sentence thoroughly and carefully because the plot is
so intricate and consuming that you want to savour every last bit of
it. It's the kind of story that stays with you long after you've
finished reading it.
What I loved about this
novel is that it's a story within a story. We start with Telena, a
curious girl, desperate to read a set of old, forbidden history books
in the library – The Prenitian Chronicles. Her brother, Aznee, the
librarian, finally lets her, and the story begins – though Telena
and Aznee are not to be forgotten, as they have their own mystery
surrounding them that has left me itching for more.
From there we are
introduced to more characters, mainly Leyna, Adri, Cora and Murray,
and we follow them on their separate journeys as they fight for their
lives and their people. I especially enjoyed the character of Leyna
and the way she grew into herself as the story progressed.
Unlike a lot of first
books in a series, Jessica O'Toole doesn't bog us down with an
overload of information. She gives us enough so that we can picture
the world perfectly inside our heads, but not so much that it's
overwhelming.
The story was exciting,
full of action and magic and pure awesomeness. I spent the the
majority of it on the edge of my seat or in tears and I'll be eagerly
awaiting the next in the series as I can't wait to find out what
happens next, both to Telena and Aznee, and in The Prenitian
Chronicles.
Total 5 stars!
Friday, 16 May 2014
Friday, 2 May 2014
Undone (The Guardians #1) Playlist
So these songs are some
of what I listened to while writing Undone. Some of them mean
something to me and the story lyrically, and some I just like the
sound and feel of.
Meant To Live by
Switchfoot
This song describes
perfectly how Nicky is feeling at the beginning of the book before he
meets the Guardians
You're Gonna Go Far,
Kid by The Offspring
Though the lyrics don't
really mean anything to the story, I just love this song and how wild
it is. This is the song I played while writing fight scenes
Bones by Ms
Mr
When Gable and Nicky
first see each other again during the parking lot fight, and again
later when they kiss. I read somewhere that the writer of the song
said that when she wrote it, she was in turmoil about the changes in
her life and things didn't feel right and she felt overwhelmed (don't
quote me :D) which I think fits perfectly for Nicky and Gable during
pretty much every encounter they have
Fresh Pair of Eyes
by Brooke Waggoner
I Love (yes, with a
capital L) this song so much. It's how I think Gable and Sacha felt
about each other at the beginning of their friendship
Never Be the Same
by Red
It perfectly describes
Nicky's conflicted feelings towards Gable
Angel by Sarah
McLachlan
This song is so sad and
I imagine the lyrics are kind of how Gable is feeling in the
aftermath of Pablo's death.
Twenty Seven by
Ms Mr
(You'll
notice I use a couple of songs from Ms Mr. I'm a big fan.) This is
the song that plays in my head during the epilogue
Recommended Reads
Recommended Reads
This isn't a list of
books (or ebooks) that I love, because if I listed ALL the books that
I love then the list would go on FOREVER. Is there a stronger word
than love? That's what I'd use to describe these books. These are the
ones that I've adored so much that I've read over and over, or ones
that have touched me deeply, or ones that I haven't been able to
forget about, even years later. You should definitely check them out!
:)
Fantasy/Sci Fi
Premonition
series by Amy A. Bartol (one of my favourite fantasy series of
all time)
Darkwoods Trilogy
by J. A. Redmerski
Lux series by
Jennifer L. Armentrout (probably my top favourite)
Hollow trilogy
by Jessica Verday (heartbreaking and haunting and amazing, all
at once)
Cassie Palmer
series by Karen Chance
Fallen series by
Lauren Kate (the 3rd book out of the 4 was the one
I found especially beautiful)
Madly series by
M. Leighton
Morganville Vampires
series by Rachel Caine
Every one of Shelly
Crane's books (they're seriously awesome) but especially the
Collide series
Wanderlove by
Belle Malory (I'm not sure whether this one actually fits in
the fantasy category, but what the heck)
Demon Trappers
series by Jana Oliver
Pretty much everything
written by Erica Stevens (who also writes under the name
Brenda K. Davies) but especially the Captive
series
Young/New Adult
Everything ever written
by Fisher Amelie, but especially Vain. So beautiful and
touching
A Different Blue
by Amy Harmon
My Favourite Mistake
by Chelsea M. Cameron
Slammed series
and Hopeless series by Colleen Hoover
Beautiful Disaster
by Jamie McGuire
Anna and the French
Kiss series by Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French
Kiss is probably my favourite book of all time. So sweet and
charming and one I always read when I need to be happy :D)
Rocked Under by
Cora Hawkes
Bet in the Dark
by Rachel Higginson
Foolish Games Series
by Leah Spiegel
Young Teens
How I Live Now
by Meg Rosoff (one of those books so amazing that you'll never
forget it)
Thursday, 17 April 2014
Friday, 11 April 2014
Deleted Chapter from Undone
This short chapter was somewhere just after the middle of my story, and was basically just a recap of Nicky's life after Gable left and up until he met Walker. However, whilst editing, I decided it really didn't add anything to the story and wasn't at all needed, and it kind of repeated a bunch of stuff that had already been said so I cut it out. But here it is for those of you who are interested in learning a little more about Nicky :)
Nicky
For
months after Gabrielle disappeared, she was all anyone could talk
about. Everywhere Nicky went, her name was brought up in hushed
tones, like they were talking about somebody who was already dead.
News that she had run away from her uncle's house had spread like
wildfire, and they all had their own theories – drugs, gangs,
pregnancy. Nicky just wished they'd all shut the hell up.
School was the worst. His classmates would stare at him as he
stomped through the halls, looking thunderous and angry and downright
miserable. They all seemed to want answers from him, as if he had any
more of a clue than they did. Where was she? Why did she run away?
Was it true that she'd died her hair blue and ran off with a lion
tamer from the circus? He'd only been outed as her boyfriend for one
damned day, but they all seemed to think that was enough for him to
be an expert on the subject of all things Gabrielle. And when he
yelled that he didn't fucking know where she was, they'd glare at him
like he'd kidnapped her and dumped her body in the river.
It all came to an end when Nicky overheard an idiot jock casually
joke about what a loss Gabrielle's fine cheerleading ass was on the
field. After Nicky punched him clear across the room and dislodged a
couple of his teeth, no one dared mention her name in his presence
again.
Without Gabrielle's kisses to make his days go by faster, school
became an unbearable form of torture for Nicky, and he couldn't wait
to scram. He graduated with surprisingly good grades considering how
little he'd studied, thanks to this natural smarts. But instead of
going to collage like his parents had hoped, he packed a bag and he
and his drumsticks moved to New York City so that he could pursue his
dream of drumming in a band.
For him, NYC was the obvious choice to chase music, and only the
smallest part of it had to do with how he hoped he might find
Gabrielle there; she'd always talked about how much she wanted to
live there, ever since they were children.
The change in culture was a huge shock to Nicky, who had never
really travelled anywhere before, and to his horror, he soon
discovered that the shadows he'd thought he'd imagined as a child had
returned. The more time he spent in the city, the greater in numbers
they became. He worked hard at pretending they weren't there,
unwilling to go through therapy again. This time, he wouldn't make
the mistake of telling anyone he could see them.
He was incredibly frustrated when he didn't immediately find a
band to play with – he'd kind of just assumed that as soon as he
got to New York, all of his dreams would automatically fall into his
lap. But the talent was a lot higher than he'd expected, and the
competition was fierce. Soon, he had to get himself a bar job to help
pay his rent, even with the money his parents sent him on a regular
basis. Life in the city was more expensive than he'd thought it would
be.
Nicky had been working at Jackson's Bar for about a year before he
met Ebo, Chim and Hadley. They made up three quarters of a small time
rock band. So small in fact, that Nicky had never even heard of
Puddle of Cat before. Puddle of Cat were using Jackson's to hold
auditions for a drummer after their fourth member had quit for
collage. Nicky auditioned, and he was in.
He once asked Chim why they were called Puddle of Cat, and his
band mate had given some nonsensical answer about the time he'd seen
a dead black cat on the side of the road and mistaken it for a
puddle. Nicky never did find out if he'd been lying or not.
They practised day and night for months, and they were pretty
decent. Decent enough to land gigs in clubs and bars all over the
city. Nicky was finally living the life he'd wanted, his time filled
with parties and women and great fucking music.
It was around that time Nicky first started experimenting with
drugs. Chim and Ebo encouraged him; told him that his music would be
better, that he'd have more fun, that he'd see life in a whole new
dimension. But honestly, he didn't need much encouragement. He wanted
to be a rock star, and rock stars were wild, right? And then, to his
absolute delight, he realized that when he was riding high, he
couldn't see or feel the shadows at all, and he didn't even have to
try to block them out. Life was awesome again, until he inevitably
came down and it was harder than ever to pretend the shadows weren't
there.
Puddle of Cat developed a name for themselves around the city.
People began requesting them, girls threw underwear at them on stage,
threw themselves at them back stage. Everyone wanted autographs. They
had freakin' groupies. Every fucker wanted a piece of them.
For Nicky, Chim and Ebo, it became less about the music, and more
about the sex and drugs. Their performances got sloppy, and
rehearsals were rare. Hadley tried his best to get them to buck up
their ideas. He was serious about only his music, and begged them to
clean up their acts so they could get back on track. He was the one
thin piece of string holding them together, and so when he eventually
gave up on them and left to pursue his musical career elsewhere, the
band fell apart.
Puddle of Cat was no more.
Not that Nicky, Chim or Ebo even cared. Or noticed.
Nicky's life was consumed by drugs and women. Three years passed
by in a haze of expensive highs and violent lows. On the rare
occasion that he didn't take anything, the shadows would bombard him
and literally drive him crazy. He'd scream and pull his hair out and
smash furniture until he could get his next fix. The people in his
life were in no better condition than him, and they didn't think
anything of it when he yelled at invisible shadows to leave him the
hell alone.
His parents constantly begged for him to get help. They offered
to pay for treatment, promised to be there for him every step of the
way. But Nicky didn't want help, and he cut them out of his life
completely when they kept pushing at him.
He was surrounded by messed up people just like him, and he had
never felt lonelier in his whole life.
Without the band or his parents, Nicky was soon out of cash. He
went back to Jackson's Bar for a time, but he'd become kind of a mean
little bastard and he caused too many fights, and Jackson ended up
firing him out of sheer necessity. Being barred from a seedy, run
down criminal hang out like Jackson's was a whole new low. He did the
only thing that, in his fucked up mind, he could. He started selling
drugs.
Obviously he was arrested. He was too dumb and careless to be
smart about what he was doing. He was sentenced to seven years in
prison, and it wasn't until he heard his mother's anguished sobs that
he realized how badly he'd screwed everything up. His life, his
career, his relationship with his family.
He hated himself; he wished he was dead. Everything would be
better if he was dead. He'd stop disappointing his parents, stop
hurting them. God, he wanted to die.
And then he was given a second chance at life. He was put into
some government programme, told he had a year to become a new person.
He took the chance with everything he had in him, even if he didn't
understand why it was happening.
His parents visited him as often as they could, and he was
incredibly humbled by them. After everything he'd put them through,
after every agonizing thing he'd said to them, they still took his
hands in theirs and told him they loved him more than anything. They
vowed to stand by him and support him as he turned his life around,
and they were excited to see the kind of man he would become.
Hadley was a surprise. Nicky had never expected to hear from his
old band mate again, let alone receive regular visits from him. He
was thankful to know that he had salvaged one truly great friend from
the wreckage of his past. Hadley was doing well for himself as a solo
artist, and had even appeared on small time television once or twice.
He'd worked his ass off and he deserved every bit of success that he
got. Nicky was genuinely happy for him, and was left in awe when
Hadley promised his support also.
Of course, Chim and Ebo never visited, and Nicky was glad as hell.
They were stark reminders of the life he wanted to leave behind, and
not the kind of people he needed around him when he was working to
get better.
He was given the option of quitting drugs cold turkey, weaning
himself off them slowly with medical help. He knew that neither
option would be easy, so he went turkey, which almost killed him. The
shadows returned with a vengeance, and he had to concentrate twenty
four hours a day to ignore them – he was constantly watched by
guards and he didn't want to make them suspicious. It was hard,
exhausting, and made getting better that much more difficult, but he
didn't want to risk one of the doctors catching on to his little
secret and having him committed to some no good mental facility. He'd
never taste freedom again.
At the end of his year, Nicky was assessed and deemed fit for
release. He was driven to the centre of New York City and handed a
wad of cash for somewhere to sleep. He asked questions, but the tight
lipped driver wouldn't answer him. Instead, he was given a half assed
cryptic warning about not leaving the city, and then he was on his
own. Confusion wasn't even the word.
However, he took the warning to heart, so instead of moving back
to LA with his folks like he'd planned, he crashed on Hadley's sofa
while he figured out the next steps to his ultimate goal – making
his parents proud.
Two weeks later, he noticed Stalker Babe for the very first time.
Monday, 7 April 2014
Excerpt of Undone
A short excerpt from Chapter 10 of Undone
Zebb's
head shot back and cracked into Nicky's chin. Nicky stumbled and Zebb
threw himself forward, knocking the both of them to the ground. Zebb
gripped Nicky by the hair and smashed his head into the cement, once,
twice. His vision went dark for a moment and pain sliced through his
cheek. The tangy, bitter taste of blood exploded in his mouth, and
then Zebb's hands were on his throat, choking him, depriving him of
oxygen.
He
clawed at Zebb's hands but they were unrelenting, getting impossibly
tighter, and for maybe the first time in his life, Nicky really
wished there was a shadow nearby to help him. His vision blurred,
and the world around him began to grow dark.
And
then a body smashed into Zebb, knocking him away from Nicky. He took
in great gasps of air, spluttering when the pain in his throat
peaked.
When
his vision had finally cleared and he was able to breathe normally –
albeit painfully – again, he sat himself up. Charles had rendered
one of his opponents unconscious, and tossed the other into Zebb –
saving Nicky's life in the process. The two men had become a tangle
of limbs, and were yelling at each other as they tried to stand.
Charles pulled out his gun and pointed it at them. “Don't move,”
he ordered. They stopped struggling immediately. Nicky didn't blame
them; even without the gun, Charles had a lethal vibe going on.
Walker
and Zay's own battles seemed to have simmered down into nothing. Zay
limped over, cradling his arm, and Nicky spotted the man he'd been
fighting handcuffed to a car door nearby. Walker was dragging a
seriously pissed off Uang along with her in a headlock as she too
joined them.
“Guess
we won this round,” Zay said with a grin, helping Nicky up with his
undamaged arm.
“Guess
again, blondie.”
Nobody
saw her coming, and none of them had any time to react. A woman
stepped forward from the shadows and in one fluid movement, she had
kicked the gun from Charles' hand and elbowed Walker in the face,
allowing Uang to scramble away. Before anyone else had time to reach
for their own weapons, a dozen more of Pablo's men approached, and
they had the Guardians restrained in less than a minute.
Two
men gripped Nicky's arms and no matter how hard he tried to shake
them off, they wouldn't budge. And then he stopped even trying,
because the woman had brushed back the hair from her face and
everything inside him went hot and cold, all at once.
“Gabrielle?”
he breathed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)